There are a lot of different things to consider when you’re telling your children that you and your spouse are going to get a divorce. One common piece of advice is that you and your spouse should tell all of the children together. Ideally, the two of you will be there to present a united front, and all of the children will be gathered to learn this information at the same time.
Did you ever wonder why this is important? Why is it a bad idea to tell the children one after another? After all, that plan does make it seem as if they would get more personal attention, which may be valuable at a difficult time.
Another sibling may tell younger (or older) children
One of the biggest problems is simply that telling children on their own means that some of them will know before others do, and they may break the news to their siblings. This can be very difficult for those siblings, as they don’t know what to believe and they may even get into an argument. Once you do tell them what’s happening and clarify things, they may feel betrayed or slighted that they didn’t find out first.
In essence, you just want to think about the child’s mental and emotional well-being during this time. While it’s true that one-on-one attention is helpful, it’s usually best to give them this type of attention after they know the basics. You can always go back and have those personal conversations once you’ve told all the children what’s happening.
If you have multiple children, the child custody arrangement can get complicated, so make sure you know about all of the options you have.