Shared custody between parents is the standard in most California divorces. Either the parents or the judge hearing their case divides parenting time between both adults. They each have a certain number of overnight stays with the children every month. They like they also shared decisio-making authority for important matters related to their children.
Occasionally, the courts or the parents determine that a visitation arrangement, rather than shared custody, is the best solution available for the family. One parent has primary custody while the other has regular visitation with the children.
What are some of the scenarios where visitation might be the preferable solution as opposed to fully shared custody?
When children are still quite young
Infants and toddlers struggle with object permanence. It can also take them quite some time to adjust to new environments. Traditional shared custody arrangements with overnight stays can potentially damage the bond between young children and their primary caregiver. When the mother of a child breastfeeds her baby, extended stays with the other parent could interrupt her production of breast milk. Parents with infants and toddlers often negotiate visitation arrangements instead of fully-shared custody arrangements.
When one parent regularly travels for work
Some careers require personal sacrifices. A parent may have to spend multiple days every week traveling for work. It can be all but impossible to fully share custody when a parent is an airline pilot who is only home for 11 nights every month with an unpredictable schedule. Visitation arrangements are often the best solution when one parent has a high-demand career that makes scheduling regular overnight custody prohibitively difficult.
When one parent is in an unstable situation
Sometimes, a parent desires time with their children but cannot provide them with safe and appropriate living space. Someone living in a motel or staying on a friend’s couch temporarily isn’t in a position to host overnight parenting sessions with their children. They may need to accept visitation initially and then modify custody arrangements when their circumstances eventually improve. Parents who put the needs of their children first can come up with custody arrangements that actually work for their families.
Recognizing when one parent cannot fully meet the needs of the children can help as a family works toward an appropriate shared custody arrangement. Making the children’s well-being a top priority can help parents embrace unusual custody arrangements until their circumstances evolve.
