A divorce can be an extremely unpleasant experience. Relationships are broken and rearranged, money problems may arise and any divorced person may deal with loneliness and even depression. For many divorced persons in the Sacramento area, the road to restoring life may seem endless and hopeless. Yet, psychotherapists who are experienced in dealing with post-divorce loneliness have developed a number of techniques that help people.
People who are recently divorced often seek new friendships, but limit the interaction to reciting tales of the divorce; what caused it, how awful the other spouse behaved and how miserable life is now. Such comments can easily drive away new friends. One therapist recommends taking a realistic look at the grief caused by the divorce. Her advice is to grieve freely, but be ready to leave the grief behind. Accepting the grief as a necessary part of the divorce process will help it pass more quickly.
The second step is related to the first: be prepared to look ahead and to abandon any fixation with past events. Accomplishing this change can be difficult, but the third step will make the transition easier: don’t be afraid to ask for help. People who know how to ask for help generally recover from a divorce faster and more completely than people who try to go it alone.
Finally, actively seeking and enjoying new relationships, which can be platonic, not necessarily romantic, will provide the all-necessary sense of connection and self-worth. Don’t let the TV become your new best friend. By actively pushing through the feelings of low self-esteem and loneliness, and by using the resources of the community, a person will stimulate new feelings of self-worth and satisfaction. These new feelings may not emerge immediately, but a consistent and persistent effort will show results over time.
